So, today, when I was in the library (my newest point of inspiration, as you can tell from my last post), I started thinking about moving. And to tell you the truth, it’s gonna be a bit hard. This might sound dumb, but I’ll sort of miss Room 322-yeah, the one that can barely fit two people in it ; ). This is coming from the girl who was ready to call college quits and move home at the beginning of the year. Boy, have I come a long way! Even a few months ago, though I was finally used to it here, I was actually considering transferring. As I sit here today, I wonder, “What in the world was I thinkin’?” God has done so many amazing things in my life this year that I can’t even begin to describe.
Looking back, it’s just so obvious that He was in every part. From sending me my angel roommate Shawn, to my amazing Mom who talked me through tough times on the phone, to even my church, Calvary Chapel, my story throughout this past school year is nothing but God-inspired. I have grown stronger and more deeply rooted in Christ, as I was separated from my closest girlfriends, who I typically relied on for support. Almost every night the first month or so, I would cry and cry and just pray for God to send me some friends like them. And He didn’t. God didn’t bless me with an amazing group of girls like my friends from Lake Placid. Though that was the desire of my heart, it was not the desire of His. He wished to see me stretch and build my faith, without being dependent on other people around me. He loved me too much to leave me the way I was.
How grateful I am that God sees the big picture and knows what’s best for me, even when I can’t understand! Sure, I’ve met friends, but not engaging in the same type of relationships I had in Lake Placid. God called me outside of my box to meet people who needed to know who He was, and praise the Lord, my new friend Jean came to know Jesus. My roommate Shannon, well, we’re still working on her ; ). Just the other night, my teammate from my Persuasion class (yes, there is a class on that. lol) had dinner at Quarterdeck with me; out of nowhere, she began asking about my faith and said she wanted to come to church with me. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make it this week due to finals, but I will definitely be making a trip down here this summer to go with her! God is at work here in Fort Lauderdale, and what a blessing it is to be a part of his miraculous plan!
Now, I see purpose in each day. I see purpose in every person that I run into. I finally realize that God orchestrates all this for a reason. I had always heard it, but never really lived it with conviction. Going into finals, I am so much more relaxed than I have ever been. Tina, a fellow LEAD 1 resident on my floor, said last night, “Why are you so peaceful? It’s finals week, and you’re not freaking out.” No, Tina, I’m not. Because I have discovered a peace that surpasses all understanding, a peace that calms every worry and gives me a safe place to rest each and every moment. I know that I may face challenges, and quite often, challenges I can’t handle. I have to pray through it and give it to God. It’s all in His hands. When I really began believing that, it changed my life. When I really trusted that God allowed certain things to happen and other things not to happen, I was amazed. I used to stress out and get all agitated when things wouldn’t work my way; but, now I know that if something doesn’t happen, it is because God didn’t want it to. Life just gets so much easier when you embrace that.
I know Room 322 didn’t actually change me, but the lessons I learned at the feet of my Savior here make it hard to leave. When I surrendered to the One who knew me intimately before I was even born, I learned that He was much more capable of taking care of me than I was capable of taking care of myself. I’m not gonna sugar coat it and say it was all easy- it was hard. But the reward? Oh my! God’s love unleashed, His blessings pouring down like rain, His hand evident in every move…that is something I don’t ever want to live again without. The knowledge that my Savior sustains me daily is more precious than any college lecture I could ever hear.
If I could do it all over again, with the tears and the loneliness and the pain, would I? Absolutely, because I have never been more fulfilled or alive in my life.
If these walls could talk, oh, what would they say,
Of the college girl who lived here each and every day?
Would they recount the first months of her endless tears,
Or describe her confusion when faced with her fears?
Would they laugh at silly memories that often were shared,
Or tell of the routine that daily she fared?
If these walls could talk, and tell a story in time,
I believe that those listening would probably find…
That in her tears, she saw Light that shined brighter than the sun,
And in her fears, she found Refuge to where she could run.
She found joy and happiness not on her own,
But by trusting her Savior, who reigns on the throne.
She found a love that soaked deep in the depths of her heart,
And a God she could trust with her life, every part.
But if these walls could talk- not even they could detail,
Of the life that was altered day to day without fail.
No, not even they could understand the depth,
The importance of transformation occurring with each breath.
‘Cause it’s something she herself can barely, with words, capture,
A story so God-like, beautiful promise from disaster.
If these walls could talk, oh what would they say,
Of the college girl who lived here each and every day?