I have to be honest. I came to She Speaks with a bad attitude and low expectations, for no good reason. I thought it would just be another Christian conference- with a few compelling messages that would give me just enough passion to get through the next few weeks, only to be forgotten later down the road. I thought they would give us 10-point checklists on how to dress and speak for an event and that would be it.
I was completely wrong.
What I have discovered is a group of women who are passionate about the Lord and His glory. Sure- there are comments about hair and shoes and everything else that a girl can relate to, but the message is JESUS and how to make Him famous.
And if the only thing I got from today was a reminder of what it looks like to represent Him, it was enough. I get so caught up in the “doing” that I lose my energy and passion. The little details overwhelm the dream that was planted in my heart, and I begin to question why I’m even doing what I do. One of the speakers today said, “We need to remember that we are human beings, not human doings.”
Warren Wiersbe says that God doesn’t care nearly as much about the work that needs to be done as the worker who He appoints to do it. (Why didn’t I think of that?)
God is God. He is sovereign, and if He needs to get His work done, He will. Yet He chooses to use me- not because He needs me, but because I need Him. This work is a transforming work within me.
Lysa TerKeurst (who is incredible by the way!) shared a compelling message at tonight’s session: Let God chisel. And, man, it hurts sometimes! The circumstances in our lives that seem difficult and dangerous and daring are all tools in the hand of a God who is the Master Sculptor. He isn’t in it to harm us, but to free us from the unecessary and bulky weight that we carry around. If only we let God chisel.
But if you’re anything like me, you say, “God I want You to chisel, but can You not make it hurt so bad? God, I want You to chisel, but why is it so hard to allow? God, I want You to chisel, but only in the times when I’m prepared. God, I want You to chisel, but…….” and the list could go on and on and on. Because it all comes back to my desire to control.
If children were able to do whatever their little hearts desired, what kind of adults would they grow up to be? God is our Father and He knows what I need to learn and when it’s time to learn it. I can give every excuse in the book, but sooner or later, I’m gonna have to grow up!
“Represent me well, Chelsea.” That was the message that resonated within me. Represent me well. That’s what this is all about. I don’t care what you do right now, as long as who you are is in line with My character.
“I want to, God, I really do. But, why is it so stinkin’ hard sometimes? I mean this past week has been a trainwreck. My attitude isn’t what it should be. I’m not content. I don’t feel like a Christian- in fact, I even said I didn’t want to be a Christian a few days ago cause I wanted to take the easy road out. I’m so frustrated with myself and my lack of faith and my lack of godly strength after all these years walking with You. I can’t do this. How can I possibly represent YOU well? I mess up at every turn and give into my emotions instead of my Spirit. I take control and think I can manage everything on my own. I think I’m strong, but I’m so very weak. Oh Lord, You don’t want me!”
“I want all of You. All, Chelsea, all. The good, the bad, the ugly. All.”